Frequently Asked
Questions
Over the years, I've received a lot of
questions from people about this site (and about other stuff in
general). The following are all questions that I get in my email
on a fairly regular basis, and my answers:
Question: Will you answer this homework question for
me? [homework question follows]
Answer: No. Check
out the
tutorial pages
for information on how you can figure it out yourself.
Question: I have a general question about a
chemical topic. Will you answer it?
Answer: Yes, as long as
it's not a homework question. You can email me your chemistry
questions at misterguch@chemfiesta.com.
Question: What's the
deal with the punk interviews?
Answer: Punk rock is
awesome, and you guys should really listen to more of it. Some
bands you may want to check out are Black Flag, the Circle Jerks, the
Descendents, the Nobodys, Flipper, Fear, the Dead Kennedys, Steel Pole
Bath Tub, NOFX, X, and Boris the Sprinkler. There are a million
other good punk bands out there - check them out.
Question: Did you really write a bunch of books?
Answer: Yes. I
wrote "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Chemistry" which came out in 2003
and "The Pocket Idiot's Guide to Chemistry", which will probably come
out in 2005 sometime. I've also written a lot of books for
chemistry teachers.
Question: Did you make a lot of money on the books?
Answer: I figured out
that if I count it as being paid on an hourly basis, I've made $2.50 an
hour writing my books - far less than minimum wage. There's not a
lot of money in writing books, unless you're Stephen King or
something. It is cool, though, to see your book in a bookstore.
Question: Are you currently teaching? Where?
Answer: I'm not currently
teaching. I'm busy tutoring chemistry, writing, playing bass in
two punk bands, and going to graduate school. Frankly, I don't
have time for teaching right now, but I'll definitely go back to it.
Question: Who sponsors this website?
Answer: Nobody - I pay
for it out of my own pocket. If you find it useful, send me a
couple of bucks via PayPal and make me smile. My email again is misterguch@chemfiesta.com.
Question: I found a mistake on your site. Can
I mail the correct answer to the address above?
Answer: Yes, but I'm
pretty slow to update. As mentioned above, I've probably got too
much to do right now.
Question: I found something offensive on your site
and am outraged. Change it immediately or I'll complain to
[somebody I've never heard of].
Answer: Nothing on this
site is in the slightest way offensive to the intended audience (i.e.
there's no sex, drugs, foul language, sexism, homophobia, violence,
etc) and I have no intention to change anything based on the very
occasional complaint. I'm sorry if you're offended - perhaps you
can find another chemistry site that you won't find so scary and
intimidating.
Question: What do you think of [some political
candidate, moral issue, religion, hotbed social issue]?
Answer: Nope. Not
going there. This is a chemistry website, not a soapbox for me to
spout off about my personal beliefs.
Question: My class is working on a project and we
need chemical expertise. Can we interview you or ask you to be
involved?
Answer: Send me more
information and I'll think about it. Historically, I agree about
50% of the time, depending on how busy I am.
Question: What's that picture of you on the front
page of the site?
Answer: That picture was
taken of me on June 30, 1995. The thing in front of me is a fried
egg sandwich that a Waffle House waitress was putting in front of
me. I used that picture of me for the webpage because 1) It
isn't good enough for anybody to actually identify me in the real
world, and 2) Because when I first made this website in 1998 I
didn't have any other digital picture of me - that was well before the
age of digital cameras.
Question: I'm a former dictator who has a great deal
of money in a trust fund and I want to establish a business
relationship with you to our mutual benefit. Will you send me
several thousand dollars? If you do, I'll send you ten million
dollars in six months.
Answer: Send me the ten
million dollars now, and I'll send you several thousand in six months.
Question: Since you're a chemist, will you tell me
how to make drugs and/or explosives?
Answer: No, but I'll tell
the DEA and/or ATF about your new interest.
Question: I'm a researcher working on [something
really complicated]. Will you tell me how to do [something really
complicated]?
Answer: No, since I know
absolutely nothing about it and don't want to give you bad information.
Question: Where can I buy [some chemical]? I
want to make [something weird].
Answer: First of all, I'm
not telling you where to get any chemicals. Secondly, please
don't do chemistry on your own - it's not safe.
Question: I have a physics and/or biology
question. Will you help me?
Answer: No, since I know
practically nothing about either subject. I only studied
chemistry because I have very little interest in physics and
biology. It's not that they're bad subjects - they're just not
subjects I find all that interesting.
Question: I hate you and I hate your website.
Answer: I hate you and
your website too.
Question: Is this site in any way related to any
websites with similar names?
Answer: Nope. If a
website has a similar name, it's not because I have anything to do with
it.